16 Fun and Simple Ways to Keep The Romance Alive in Your Relationship
Monday, January 11, 2016
This is the time of year where love is in the air. The holidays welcomed many marriage proposals, renewed vows, and new and exciting romantic relationships. However, there has also been a lot of break-ups and fizzled out romances. While we like to think love should be forever, sometimes that is simply not the case. People grow apart, fall in love with someone more compatible, or go on their own journey of self-discovery.
After being in a committed, loving and monogamous relationship for 11 years, and married for 8 of those years, I figured out a few things on how to keep the love alive. Whether you are starting a new romance, or have been with your partner for years, here are some tips I would like to share with you to keep the flame burning throughout your courtship.
1.Never underestimate the value of asking how her day went. Niceties don't become any less nice just because they become routine. At the end of the day, even if you felt like no one cared about anything you did, at least you know your partner will not only care but want to know details.
2. Kimberly and I have learned fair fight negotiation. We have a weekly meeting, we focus on the positive things of the week and the ONE area we each could have done better at. Then we negotiate to do it better next time. Some fights are just fights. They don't have to be deal breakers. You can be madly in love with a person and still be mad at that person. Fights don't have to spell The End. Couples that stay together choose the relationship over the conflict.
3. Accept that relationships come with obligations. You might not want to do everything your partner wants you to do — work events, seeing a band she likes, even errands — but you also know it makes her happy to have you by her side. But be honest about which events you feel strongly that your partner attends. Not everything can be a must. She knows to tell you that it's really important you attend fundraisers for the disadvantage youth every week but will live if you decline an invite. You're both fair about it.
4. Kiss hello before doing anything else when you get home. Kiss good-bye when you leave. It's always just the sweetest if she has to go to work extra-early but stops by to kiss you quickly while trying not to wake you. Or when she walks you to the door when you head out. And an immediate kiss when you reunite at the end of the day means you care about each other above all else.
5. Sometimes you have to say no to invitations so you can spend time with each other. Just because your calendar is blank one night doesn't mean you have to agree to plans if someone asks. Life gets weirdly busy as you get older. It's nice to use that free time to just be together.
6. More "I love you"s are better than fewer. Three words that just never get old. You're seriously not going to say it too much.
7. Be sympathetic when your significant other is sick. Maybe it means canceling dinner plans and picking up your vegetable soup. Maybe it means running to the store for a special treat. Don't complain. No one gets sick on purpose, and if the situation were reversed, you know he'd/she’d take care of you.
8.. Take on more of the errands/household chores when the other one is swamped at work. No, you don't want to do laundry, but you do it to make your partner's life easier. And by checking things off your mutual to-do list, you'll be more likely to do things you actually enjoy together when her schedule frees up. Plus, you'll have a crazed period at some point too, and it all evens out in the end.
9. Kimberly’s #1 rule is: Be on time. So many meaningless fights can be avoided by being on time. Start your eyeliner 20 minutes earlier ladies, gents record the game, it will be on when you get home. Chances are either you or your partner, or someone in the party you're meeting, is sensitive about punctuality, so be there when you say you will.
10. Keep each other informed of your individual plans. You're going to grab a drink with a friend after work? Great, have fun. But let her know where you're going to be so (1) she doesn't worry and (2) she knows you won't be around if she wants to make her own plans. It's not a matter of asking permission — it's a matter of being courteous because you always want to rest easy knowing your S.O. is alive and well and not in trouble.
11. Respond to each other's texts, calls, etc. No screening when it comes to your significant other. If she needs to get in touch for whatever reason, that should be a priority.
12. Be spontaneous. Make a dinner reservation for just the two of you at the last minute. Or just wander into your favorite restaurant and eat at the bar. Have random morning sex. Surprise her with a hot yoga membership or personal vegan chef at the house. Keeping things unexpected makes being with the person you love even more fun.
13. Love each other unconditionally. Sometimes it really is just that simple. Here’s to your life…better than it was yesterday!
14. When you travel with your partner, make sure you both come to an agreement on what is expected on the trip. Traveling can be fun, however, it can turn into a nightmare when you and your mate want to do different things. To avoid fights, plan a schedule of activities you will do together, and then plan some time to go on certain excursions and outings by yourself. However, make sure you plan to be with your partner for the wide majority of the day. This way you can enjoy your trip and create beautiful memories.
15. There is a lot of debate about working with your spouse. However, if you have open communication, certain expectations, and strategies on how to handle conflict, working with your spouse will be easy as pie. Make sure you both know your roles in your business partnership. Focus on what you are good at and allow your spouse to do the same. Don’t try to be overbearing, bossy or pushy.
16. Date Her Often - Remember when you first started dating your woman? You would do anything to make her feel special. Surprise her with her favorite bouquet of flowers, make reservations at the best restaurant in town, get her tickets to her favorite band. When you get comfortable in a relationship, it can be easy to just stay in and watch Netflix all night. And there’s nothing wrong with cuddling up on the couch and watching a flick, but to keep the romance alive, you should continue to woo your woman like you did when you were first getting to know her. When you are busy professionals, it may be hard to find time to go out on dates multiple nights a week. However, if you commit to at least one night a week to have a “date night” you will see how much closer you will get.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!